Archive for the 'Cooking' Category

Chic’n pie (translated for geeks)

Sunday, January 21st, 2007

Ok so today I decided to make chicken pie. I thought I would share how I did it (who would of thought my first tutorial would of been a cooking one???)
Ingredients

  • 1 potato
  • 1 Onion
  • 1 Carrot
  • Half a large chicken
  • Chilled H20
  • Chicken stock
  • Flour
  • Butter
  • Peas
  • korn
  • love
  • SODIUM CHLORIDE and pepper

Making the pie pastry

  1. Add 4 cups of flour to a mixing bowel.
  2. Add 4 table spoons of butter and mix until it looks like figure 1.
  3. Next keep adding chilled H20 1 tea spoon at a time until the flour begins to fusion together like figure 2.
  4. Now kneed the pastry into a ball figure 3.
  5. Thats it! Place the pastry sphere into the fridge for 20 mins. This crystallizes the flour partials making the pastry more tasty! I presume… Also if you are a lazy gopher you could probably use the freezer to speed up this process (not tried).
  6. Tip - Always make more pastry than you estimate you need.

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Figure 1

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Figure 2

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Figure 3

Getting a Chicken!

  1. Ok its time to bait some chicken, grab your Meowth (needs to be lvl 6 or higher with 20+ spd) and go hunting, chickens are always around spots with chicken foot prints so look there. You can tell its a chicken battle due to the different music (sounds like surfer music!).
  2. Dont attack the chicken! Feed it greens until you have killed the other enemys.
  3. Once the bird has been captured feed your cat (some of the chicken flesh) for +love figure 4
  4. Butcher the chicken as detailed here.
  5. Thats it! …Ive just been told you can now get chickens at supermarkets these days.. Who knew? If you dont have enough gill or thief level is to low you can still use the method above.

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Figure 4

Chopping the ingredients

  1. Peel and chop the potato, carrots, chicken and onion pretty small like. Figure 5

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Figure 5

Pieing the Pastry

  1. Get the pastry out of the fridge and roll it.
  2. while(Pastry != LargeEnough){Chef.rollPastry();}
  3. Once the pastry is large enough place in the pie tray. Figure 6
  4. Place your ingredients into the pie. Dont forget the maze and peas. Figure 7

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Figure 6

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Figure 7

Making the chicken gravy

  1. Ok, respect++ you have made it past the toughest part.
  2. Now boil some H20. I recommend a kettle for this.
  3. In a bowl place some chicken stock, if you dont have any at hand you can make some yourself using some Ingredients: Chicken broth, parstly, yest extract, soy, gralic, dexamothine and exoplindine. Tip! Get a guild together and raid your local school/university’s science lab for the last 2 ingredients, and while your there can you pick me up some glycerol and chemistry text books?
  4. Add some corn powder (the stuff that looks like coke).
  5. Stir
  6. Once it smells, looks and tastes like cheap chicken soup it is ready. Figure 8
  7. Add this concoction to your pie.
  8. Ohh by the way, you were meant to start pre-heating the oven 20 mins ago so get it started!

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Figure 8
Decorating the pie

  1. Ok this is the best part of the crucifiction err.. I mean pie making game…
  2. Decorate the pie with blasphemy with your extra pastry. Figure 9
  3. If the pie aint sexy no one will eat it. (I hope thats what people do with pies)

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Figure 9

Cooking the nade

  1. Now put it in the oven for 7200000 mill seconds or 1 hour 20. I suggest you use TriTimer for timing the cooking. So you can go watch .7% of A New Hope or something you Bittorrented.

OMFG its done Jesus Lord Demon Witch!!!!!!1

  1. Eat it! Figure 10
  2. Clean up so kitchen dragon dosnt 6 month ban you from the kitchen. Figure 11 (looked 3 times worse that this)

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Figure 10

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Figure 11